Reference
O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York:
Bedford/St. Martin's.
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Managing Conflict
As I began to think back, the most recent disagreement that I had was two weeks ago. Although my girls father and I are no longer together, he seems to always find a way to spark a debate about the most simple issues. At one time I could not understand why we could not have an decent conversation with out it becoming heated. But I soon found out that he wanted to keep me upset. Basically, he would spark debates on purpose. So in turn, I began to avoid direct conversation with him all together. I know now that that form of management is called the escapist strategy (O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. 2012). When it comes to our daughters, we often result to quick and simple resolutions. It may not always resolve the issues but it has been the best solution for the both of us. I also had to learn to manage my emotions while communicating with him. I learned not to engage in the same discussions to avoid repeating the same situations. I learned to speak calmly to show that I do respect him as my children's father. Having very limited conversations has been the best solution. Because he believes that he is right and everyone esle is wrong, I really don't see how any compromise can be made.
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I enjoyed this post. I have the same type of relationship with my mother. We have also resorted to very limited conversation when absolutely necessary.
ReplyDeleteI admire your willingness to find ways to calmly communicate with your daughter's father. My parents have been divorced for nearly 20 years and cannot tolerate being in the same room together, nevertheless, have a conversation. I wish they would try your strategies for the sake of their children and grandchildren. Thank you for sharing such a personal issue.
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