Recently, my daughter was the victim of bias and prejudice behaviors at a former job where she worked. She wants to be a chef and loves to work with food. She was hired work in the deli section of our local grocery store and was very excited when she got the job, little did she know what she was about to face. She began to come home and talk about the experiences that she would have daily dealing with the public; many would make your mouth drop. I will just like to share just a couple with you.
I would start the first story off by describing it as a microinsult. See, my daughter is a very beautiful dark skinned woman. One day a lady walked up to her and said, “You colored people always have beautiful skin”. My daughter said, mom I know that she didn’t mean any harm and was trying to give me a compliment. But for some reason I felt awkward and a little offended, I guess it was the way she said it and the “you people part”, I don’t know.
The next experience I would like to share deals with how many older white people would not even want my daughter to serve them. If she walked up and said, “May I help you?” many would walk away. At first she blew it off but it became obvious with the regular customers. If she’s there they will say no thank you and if her white co-worker is there they would go ahead and order. Some would even what until my daughter would go in the back and then walk back up to be helped by her white co-worker. One man was so bold that he told my daughter “no, I want her to help me” pointing to her co-worker.
Now as a mother, it hurt to know that my daughter was being treated in such a manner however; I told her that it is a lesson that she has to learn. Prejudice is real and does exist; some people are still stuck in the past and refuse to look at us all as equal. For many older people, I don’t know if they will ever change or if there is anything that we can do to get them to see things differently.
Martha
ReplyDeleteI truly understand what your daughter feels because it is something that we experience all the time. I enjoyed your story but I cannot understand why some people use the team You People. And made is sound negative. I had a friend and we use to call each other girl friend. One day some of my other friend was listing to a conversation from as we were talking and I call her girl friend. The first thing that said that your girl friend but we the term only mean we are friends. I had some of my peers say you are gay and this was not true. I made us feel so bad we stop calling each other girl friends and said friend girl. I have learned so much about diversity and the anti-bias that go with it. I hope your daughter understand the we all meet people that have bias and it is not anything that she has to do just keep being a beautiful little girl. I saw people that were fearful of something and do not know why. This is sad because they are the one that is missing out on live. Kathfsmith
Hello Martha,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your personal experience of bias and prejudice. The fact is that bias and prejudice still exit. People looks things by the appearance and based on their life experiences. Root where you proud of and change what you do not like by using the opportunity. As early childhood educator, these experiences are our opportunity to bring an anti-bias and culture responsible education environment to the field.
Wow, that is heartbreaking to hear. Racism is still very alive even in communities where one would think it would not be. Im glad she had an educated person to help her navigate those situations. Many times, situations are being navigated through by people who have hate and prejudice in their hearts which makes it increasingly dangerous. I hope your daughter uses the negativity and racism as strength to push forward.
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