Saturday, July 21, 2012

Childhood Stressors

My Childhood Stressors
As a child, I experienced several stressors. I will not say that I lived in poverty, however we were very poor. And believe me when I tell you.  I know what it is like to be hungry.  The only thing about my situation is that my parents gave us such a loving home. When my siblings and I get together, we often speak on the fact that as we were growing up, we were poor but did not realize how poor we were. My mom could make a meal out of anything and we were greatful. 
The stressor that really did the most damage was that of being isolated. It came from my peers or others outside the household.  I remember being isolated at school because I came from a very religious family.  I remember hearing children comment on the way that I dressed and not wanting to play with me because of it. Now I did not dress very differently than most.  It was the fact that as a girl, I did not wear pants. But also, my clothes were very old fashioned, which was basically because that was all I had to wear.  I remember putting paper in the bottem of my shoes because I had walked a hole at the bottom. The funny thing about it all was that I remember playing with other children in kindergarten and then watch those same children shy away from me because of what they heard other children say about me.  It is very hurtful to feel all alone in school as a young child with no one to play with. I was that child that sat in the corner unnoticed, not even by my teachers.
 To top it all off, the talks not only came from peers at school, but also from the church.  My dad is a minister, and for some reason people decided that because my dad is a preacher, that my siblings and I should be put on a different level than other children.  I also remember the looks and wispers that still bother me today. 
I really don't think people realize what PK kids (Preachers Kids) go through.  Many try so hard to fit in and when they mess up like all children do, it is magnified. Now that I am older, I won't say that I was not affected because for years I held many feeling inside and developed a very low self-esteem and I fell into depression.  By the grace of God, I can say that because of my experience, I have empathy towards the poor and needy, those that are struggling emotionally, and those that feel like outsiders and need a friend. I can't begin to count how many people that I have been put in my path and that I was able to help encourage.
Also as an educator, I quickly pick out the children that are being isolated and empathize with those children. So in turn, I started a rule in my class.  That is, we are all friends and we have to look after one another.  I will say, that I have had parents come to me in amazement because their shy child will come home so excited, talking about school constantly. I still run into parents 20 years later that will thank me because they say that I help their child come out of their shell.


My church has a mission in Mozambic, Africa.  We have partnered with a group there to support an Orphanage.  These children have experienced extreme poverty, hunger and isolation because they have lost both of their parents.  My dad travels there from time to time and tries to describe the conditions of what he sees.  He said that seeing children with no shoes, torn clothes and with nothing to eat except what they get from the mission puts him in tears.  He stated that many of the children were cared for by the community.  We also have regular visits from the leader of the mission who comes frome time to time to give a report on what our support has done for the mission. I am not sure of the affects that these stressors may have on them because for many of these children, this is the only life that they know. I would love to some day make the trip along with my dad to really get a true hands on experience of helping the orphanage.  Although my circumstances were not as severe, I can really empathize with them. To be honest, when I hear their stories, I have no complaints at all.

1 comment:

  1. Martha,I am so sorry for what you had to go through as you were growing up, mostly the isolation part. However, one of the best ways to develop empathy toward others is to try visualizing their problems. You have undergone what some of your students are suffering, and as an educator, you are able to perceive more clearly what is going on in their little minds and hearts because of what you have endured. You are appropriately able to respond to their needs due to the knowledge you have assimilated. This is a priceless gift that you can impart to your students and even others around you. The fruit of your experiences is embodied through the rule you have established in your class. A rule I would like to adapt myself, if you do not mind. Thank you very much for your inspiring post.

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